A’ responsible father’, unbeknown to me at the time of our initial encounter, rents my neighbor’s garage driveway space. How ‘the responsible father’ got there; I answered a Craigslist ad the ‘responsible father’ had placed looking for a space for his RV; I gave my neighbor ‘the responsible’ father’s information.
We will call the responsible father ‘Troy’. Troy works hard at labor intensive jobs and travels a great deal following work. Troy has a pick up, young and strong. He has a glow of health about him; tan and handsome. Me, I’m an ‘old woman’ trying to grasp every straw of ‘health’ and ‘goodness’ I can; often leaving me breathless and sore.
Troy was kind enough to take me to pick up a couch that I purchased. I gave him a few dollars…he didn’t want to take the money, but I insisted, I know how hard his money comes and gas is expensive. For awhile I let Troy to use my outside plumbing to fill water containers. However, Pieper and Sprout barked a great deal when he came; which was disturbing to me and the neighbors; so, I had to ask Troy not to use the outside water anymore. He seemed to understand.
Troy goes to the downtown library regularly. Recently, he found a car on Craigslist that he wanted to check out. However, he does not know how to respond to the ‘seller’ using his email. He asked if I would contact the seller and give him/her his phone. I responded twice, leaving the ‘seller’ Troy’s phone number.
Initially when Troy called at around 8:30 a.m this morning and asking if I would contact the ‘seller’, I told him my computer was down. It wasn’t. I just didn’t know how to say ‘no’. Having asked Troy a couple of time over the past month if he would help me do a couple of things I was feeling muffed that he had not asked what he could help me with. Here I go expecting something from someone I hardly know. Not a good idea. It takes time to know someone: However, my thinking was, if he pays alimony, then he’s a good guy…and good guys offer to help out an old woman. Well, as they say, ‘timing is everything’; I don’t know about ‘timing’ be ‘everything’, but in this instance, mine didn’t seem to be all that good. Even when you’ve spent time to know someone, expecting a certain behavior can be setting yourself up for a fall. And I barely knew Troy.
I decided to do some yard work and while moving a pile of wood, I thought about my lie to Tony and felt a little guilty. That’s when I decided to call him back and offer help, and ask if he could make time to help me.
When I got him on the phone, and Troy asked me for the third time to contact a ‘seller’, I asked if he had an Email address and he said absolutely. I offered to teach him how to do respond using his email. He said if it was too big of a deal, that he had friends in other places that would drive him someplace at the drop of a hat. He then said he didn’t have time today that he was going to a friend’s house for a barbeque. And kept repeating himself. Saying that if it only takes a minute and if it’s such a big deal…and then repeated about his friends. He did not want to give me an opportunity to speak. I finally shouted for him to stop and let me speak. I told him it did not have to be today and asked him to give me the information so I might help him. It was difficult for him. He finally gave me the information, and that was when I realized it was the same info he’d given me two other times. I said if the person has not called as yet, I didn’t see the point in sending his phone number again. And that when he had time I’d be glad to show him how to respond by email to people on Craigslist who do not list a phone number; he began repeating himself again. I’m not sure how I squeezed out about helping me do a couple of things sometime. He began repeating what he had said before and that he wanted to hang out with people who he could learn from…and then made accusations that I was bragging about helping him. It was clear that Troy was upset and had made his mind up about the situation. I finally told him;’ you see what you want to see…and hear what you want to hear’. I think we said ‘goodbye’, I’m not sure. I don’t believe Troy heard much of what I said. Nor, do I believe he wanted to take time to listen. He had made up his mind about the situation.
Making our minds up about a situation, without taking the time to listen and understand, can create such ‘chaos’. Who wants to take the time to repeat back to someone; “this is what I hear you saying”, “this is what I understand”. Therefore, the majority of the world ‘hears and sees what they wants’. Someone said ‘no one can know you as well as you know yourself”. What are you thinking? What are you doing? Inquiring minds, yes, there are ‘inquiring minds’ out there…and they really do want to listen and understand what you have to say.
We are just specs on this planet. Most of the time it seems to me, that we are ‘specs on steroids’! Short ‘tweets’ camouflaging for conversation. Believing what we want; more often without spending the necessary time to listen and understand. We long for someone to listen. Thinking if we speak loud and as fast as we can, someone will hear; we saturate the internet; trying to ‘Brand’ ourselves. Wagering our time on this or that.
If there is more to ‘A Morning’s Tale’ I’ll let you know. In the meantime…’You hear what you want, you see what you want’ and ‘no one can know you as well as yourself’. Are you living from your heart? Can you hear it beat? Does it matter? How long must you and I take? Can you hear me? Tweet, Tweet!